by Ilya Kharkow -

“Beauty can be a more formidable obstacle than a barrier of barbed wire”
Jean Genet

Hey, how’s it hanging? Damn, it’s hot as hell today. The heat’s making my head spin. And also, my head is spinning from a story I want to share with you.

Why do I wanna spill this story to you specifically? Easy. I know we’ll never meet. Sometimes you can trust a total stranger more than a friend. Crazy, right?

You’ve probably heard about the war in my country. Just hit the two-year mark since it started. On that very day – February 22nd – I got a message from an old buddy.

He told me he met a funny guy on a dating app. They hit it off unexpectedly well. And when they finally met, it was like a damn perfect date.

“My coach always told me I gotta hustle to be the best version of myself. But I saw the best version of me in this guy,” that’s what he wrote about the funny guy.

Also, my buddy, he wrote about snagging a sock of the funny guy before heading home. Could’ve asked, but for some reason, he just felt like swiping it. And funny guy, he totally caught the theft but let the thief off the hook.

It was the kind of date that guys later talk about on other dates, man. Everything about it was golden, except for one tiny hiccup – that same night, funny guy handed my buddy a draft notice.

Turns out, funny guy worked at the draft board. He said if my buddy didn’t show up for the commission within 24 hours, he’d end up behind bars. So, he showed up.

Only at the commission did it turn out that the funny guy gave my buddy his own draft notice. At the commission, he said he lost it. So they both ended up in a tight spot.

My friend texted me: “Have you ever been stuck in an elevator with a guy you like? It’s kind of like that, except you know – at any moment the elevator could plummet into the abyss.”

It’s so hot today. The heat’s making my head spin. I was about to watch some porn when suddenly I got a message from my buddy. He told me he met the perfect guy and that tomorrow they’re going to war together.

I’m against violence. I don’t want my buddy to die. His messages make me sweat. He texts: “My life has found meaning. I’m scared, but I’m happy. Now that I’m experiencing both fear and happiness at the same time, I have a great news – happiness is stronger.”

It was a perfect date. A date that even made my head spin. I don’t know if I’d want to go on such a date. Would you?

by Ilya Kharkow

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Ilya Kharkow, I destroy the sense of all insults
Marilyn Monroe once said that love and work are the only worthwhile things in life. Trying to combine them, I invented sex. What do our readers need to know about you? My name is Ilya Kharkow. I like polo shirts, anarcho-individualism and PrEP. I’m a writer from Ukraine, but
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